Most creatives will admit to days on end when they are consumed by doubt, fear and confusion.
Well these are my days.
A few things have been happening and I am questioning myself and what paths to take. Firstly, the vouchers I won the whole $3000 worth, might not be able to be used to buy my Epson R3000 and scanner. Sad, I entered the competition in the hope of buying these 2 things to kickstart my kids decor range. Maybe ill work around it somehow and yes, I also get to go to Sydney and meet with Helen Mcabe….BUT…. I keep seeing signs!
We recently moved my studio space into its new area. We are a family of 5 in a 3 bedroom house with no space to paint so a wall was put on the carport to act as a studio (I have a very supportive family). It rained and low and behold…it floods:( So now thats on hold some more until another wall is built. Another sign?
The rest is just gut feeling. Am I good enough? Do I have the patience to keep up with facebook updates, twitter, blog posts, press releases, printing, marketing, newsletters and the rest? When will I find that thing that is my style? When will I stop trying different artists techniques in the hope that it fits me? Will I ever be a “real” artist? What is a “real” artist?
Truth is i have always dreamt of illustrating kids books. I love painting for kids and the freedom it gives. I also want to paint art to hang in galleries and exhibits but I dont feel im at that point yet, i dont feel GOOD enough.
In awe of passionate, talented creatives in the like of Kelly Rae Roberts, Jane Davenport, Flora Bowley, Donna Heart, Tam Laporte, Emma Blythe,Juuri, Monique…the list can go on, they continue to inspire me and teach me skills i need to learn but I cant seem to transition from their art into my own.
The designs i create for children are mine and for that i am proud but will they sell. Will they be able to be the driving force behind my pipe dream? So many questions 🙂
To be able to paint and create is a gift. The ability to create beauty that has never been seen is something special. Envisioning that something in your mind and sharing it for the world to see and enjoy is an awesome feat in itself…….BUT…..yes another but….am I one of those blessed people? And if I am what is the purpose to my art?
Here are some of the truly inspiring artists I admire: